Welcome!

So you’re 60+ years old (like I am) and you’re raising your nine-year-old granddaughter (or six-year-old grandson). Not the way you thought your life would turn out. You’ve survived living with someone with a drug-dependence who also dealt drugs out of your home (like I have). You’ve survived physical and emotional abuse. And to top everything off now COVID-19 is sweeping the world and turning your life on its head (like all of us). It’s okay. You’ve got this. You’ve still got dreams. For yourself. For your grand. You can still nurture a safe home, a joyful home. Let’s do this.

Hi! I’m Julie Coldeen and I’m a grandmother raising my granddaughter. Let’s walk this journey together! You see, there’s this amazing person in my life. In fact, she’s pretty much taken over my life. She’s nine years old now and brings joy and fascination and mind-blowing reality-shifting – yes, and challenge – into my daily life. She is my granddaughter and my husband (grateful every day for this life-partner God has given me!) and I have claimed the responsibility of raising her.

This is not what we expected to be doing at this point in our lives. We’re trying to set ourselves up financially for retirement! Raising a child again? We’ve done that already! I thought I would be studying oil painting now. Or throwing myself at long last into writing THE novel that I’ve been thinking about my whole adult life. But instead we’re changing diapers (again) or helping with homework and enforcing bedtime (again). Childish chatter fills the evening – albeit often fascinating chatter! – instead of adult conversation or peaceful reading. We’re watching Beauty and the Beast instead of The Shape of Water. Omigosh. Deja vu all over again.

In some ways it’s easier this time around. With age comes wisdom they say. Some things that really bothered me with my own girls – like wanting them to go to sleep by themselves at a certain (young) age or wearing the cute Christmas outfit I planned  – don’t seem quite so important this time around. (She’ll sleep by herself when she’s ready. Shrug. And she did.) What seems important is cultivating kindness toward others and good manners and learning sympathy. And understanding what a great person she is, that her circumstances don’t limit her and she can accomplish anything she sets her mind to. That she is a valuable child of God.

And in many ways it’s harder. I’m older physically. I’ve had back surgery for sciatica. The surgery was successful, but I’ve never gotten 100% mobility of my left foot back and the sciatica flares up a bit every now and then. Playing tag is not an option right now. Got some creaky joints. Takes a bit longer to stand up from my comfy recliner, not to mention getting up from the floor! Games with the grand need to take place on a table. Need to lose some weight. Can’t eat indiscriminately these days. You get the picture.

And I have the added challenge of wondering how did we get in this situation? And what could I have done – could we have done – differently? What did we do wrong? And how do we keep it from happening again with our precious granddaughter? Now THERE’S an abyss I struggle not to fall into just about every day.

And, in spite of this very full (and complicated) life we’ve been handed, what God has given us to do, we’ve also been given joy. There IS joy in our daily walk and learning to see it and live it and share it with my granddaughter (sometimes I teach her, but mostly she teaches me!) is the goal I’ve set myself.

And I invite you to join me on this exciting journey. Might be – no, will be – challenging at times. But the discoveries will be oh, so worth it! Who’s with me?