Coping With Stress and Fear in These Strange Times
Oh boy. Just when you thought you were starting to get a handle on this living life thing – you know – “normal life” rather than the paranoid version than can hit you when you least expect it. The version that has you locking up your house and car tight day and night and double checking the windows and doors before you go to bed because you HAVE had people living in your house that steal or are prone to violence. Because you HAVE had your house broken into by “those people” and things you care about stolen. Just when you thought you had finally moved past the uncertainty of those walking-on-eggshells days when you never knew if what you said or did would set off a spate of violence with yelling and things getting broken and even you getting hurt. Just when it seemed as if you could relax and live a happy healthy sort of life, COVID-19 happened.
These are uncertain times for everyone. A pandemic is certainly something to take seriously – a frightening thing. And for those of us who have had to deal already with uncertainty and scary stuff in our lives – well, this sort of feels like a step backward right now. Not only is an unfamiliar virus sweeping the world many of our usual routines and anchors in life have been jerked away from us. It’s all too easy to caught up in anxiety, maybe even panic. Know this – uncertainty is hard. But there are things we can do to manage our fears during these strange times, ways to keep ourselves healthy and come out of this even stronger. So hang on – we can do this.
Stay informed, but not obsessive. We do need to keep informed on the latest health precautions we’re meant to be following in order to keep ourselves and others healthy and to prevent the spread of the virus. And knowing the actual facts helps to relieve some of the uncertainty. Beware though! There is much misinformation and scaremongering happening right now! Get your facts from reliable sources like the CDC (Center for Disease Control), the World Health Organization, and your local public health authorities. You can even verify information with Snopes. They now have a Corona Virus Collection page.
But limit your exposure to the media. Becoming obsessive about checking on the latest statistics can feed your anxiousness. If checking the news is making you fearful, cut back. Check just once a day. Or stop completely, if you need to. Ask your hubby or a trusted friend to let you know of any important information you need to know.
Focus on things you CAN control. There are so many questions right now without answers and thinking too long and hard about these things can fuel that helpless out-of-control feeling. Let’s focus on what we CAN control and there ARE things we can do. First, and foremost, reduce your own personal risk by following the recommendations and guidelines the health organizations and governments have been giving us. Many states and countries have orders in place we can and need to be following. I’m guessing we all know the drill by now – wash your hands, don’t touch your face, stay home, avoid non-essential trips, practice social distancing. HelpGuide adds to this list getting plenty of sleep to help support your immune system.
But what about the what-ifs? What if you have to quarantine? What if we are ordered to stay home Italy-style? What if, what if, what if? You know from experience letting yourself get sucked into this vortex is a recipe for disaster and you don’t want to go there. Instead take some time to be proactive. Write down your fears – those possible scenarios – and brainstorm practical solutions – things you could actually implement. Create a plan for the “what if” and then PUT IT AWAY. Resist the urge to revisit it. Save it for when – IF – you need it. Knowing you have this concrete plan can help to relieve the stress and anxiety.
Stay connected. Just because we’re social distancing doesn’t mean we can’t stay connected. Thank goodness we live in a time that allows us to connect instantly with friends and family. It may be even more important than ever right now when you might be feeling more concerned than usual for loved ones. My siblings, mother, and I have begun connecting weekly on Zoom. My husband joked we are seeing and talking to each other now more than we ever did. Actually, it’s true. In these strange times, we just feel a need to check in more frequently and regularly. So call, text, Skype, Zoom, FaceTime. Schedule regular times for these mood boosters. Now you have a fun appointment on your calendar!
Take care of your body and spirit. We know that self-care goes a long way towards helping us to cope with stress. We know we need to eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and make quiet moments for prayer or meditation. Now more than ever we need to continue these practices, in spite of the interruption of routine COVID-19 is throwing at us. Take the time, make special effort to maintain a routine and to find ways to exercise. Your family, your grands need this too. Regular bedtimes and meal times remind everyone that there still is a balance in the world, in your life.
Remember to nourish your soul, too. Do things you enjoy – read, cook, play games. If you can, get outside, find a bit of nature, of God’s green earth – notice that seasons are still turning. Pray. Meditate. Be sparing of your use of alcohol or drugs – watch out for self-medicating. But most of all, be easy on yourself. Sure, you’ve got all this unexpected time, all this opportunity for accomplishing great goals. But don’t let these expectations add to your stress! If you need this time for just playing, for just being, then do it!
Help others. Turning your attention away from yourself and looking for ways to help others is a surefire way to lift your own spirits. And what a great lesson to teach your grand. But what can we do while we’re self-isolating? The next time you need to make an essential trip to the grocery store or pharmacy perhaps you could pick up something for a homebound neighbor. Leave the bag on the porch to maintain social distance. You can call to check on folks. Donate cash or food to local food banks who are struggling right now. Brainstorm with the rest of your family to come up with ideas for ways you can reach out to others who might be feeling stranded.
If you are in crisis – get help. Above all, if you seriously need help, get it! HelpGuide has a list of crisis lines you can call or text. Don’t be ashamed to get the help you need. For more information about coping with the fear and worry of COVID-19 visit HelpGuide’s Corona Virus Anxiety page. (Scroll down to the bottom of the page for the crisis lines.) This site has a lot of valuable information on dealing with anxiety and depression.
You’ve been dealt a lot in life lately and now COVID-19 has turned our world upside down and heaped a whole new kind of stress and uncertainty on you. But you have tools to help you deal with this, tools that will help now and continue to help on into the future. It will take intentional mindfulness on your part. Taking the time to monitor your emotions and make the positive choice, take the needed action. You’ve done it before. You can do it again.